Just the other day, Isaac showed me a picture he drew last year in K5. (which I never saw, since I was in Ohio at the time.) But it was of him with a dog outside with a rainbow.... entitled how he wanted a puppy. But also in the picture was this little person crawling on the grass. And Isaac says to me, "I really thought it was going to happen Mom, I really did." And I was like What? And he went on to say, "Its just not fair that Jacob never even got to crawl around in the grass. He never even was old enough to do that. I really thought he was going to be able to." It just broke my heart. Because its so true.... Its not fair! People everyday take the little things for granted. And now when I hear people complain that their tired... oh the baby wants to eat every hour.. blah, blah blah... I have no sympathy for them. Maybe thats mean of me, but I don't.
All I want is to hold a baby... I crave it. It's like my body, my whole being, knows that Jakey is missing... something is not right. My heart broke along with Jakey's and i know we both need to patiently wait on God's kingdom for both our hearts to be fixed.
