Jakey would be almost 9 months old now. I am in Florida as I type (everyone else is sleeping), but everytime I see a baby in a stroller I want to cry... I should be here with a stroller and a baby who is trying to climb out of his chair! Who doesn't want to sit for the shows... who is cute with his chubby little legs. It is simply not fair what poor little Jacob had to go through. He endured so much pain. When I even think back to his time in the hospitals, my stomach aches. Poor little guy never got to experience things that we all take for granted everyday. Even just cuddling with your baby. He was looking up at me with those scared little eyes and there was nothing I could do for him. I couldn't take away his pain, I couldn't even hold him.
I know so many others have been through similar things and are going through them and others have it much worse and I just feel for each and every one of them. Be strong all you sweet innocent babies and you loving mamas and dadas.. be strong.
Our family is going to be going to Jacob's "home" Nationwide Childrens hospital on the anniversary of his death in August and when we do we want to spread some cheer to deserving boys and girls and their families. I have a lot of ideas floating around in my head, but I will let you all know when I am for sure on an idea.
My others children are up, so I got to wipe my tears and be done for now. I think this was therapeutic for me today though.
